The Magazine is five! And we bring you Summer glow ...
Death babysitter wins retrial ... a charivari* of highlights from the past half-decade.
Contained within is all manner of goodness. The best quizzes. The most-read features... and it's five of each, in honour of our age. There might even be cake.
... MOST-READ STORIES
... FIRST WEEK'S LEAD STORIES
... BEST READER RESPONSES
4. Your history of Britain - 1950s
… FUNNIEST CAPTION COMP ENTRIES
1. "NOW it's extinct, yes."
Sarah, Trieste, Italy
2. BUSH: "Note to self: Have suit dry-cleaned."
CHIRAC: "Note to self: Wash hand immediately"
Peter Queck, Chicago
3. "The dangers of internet dating No 3."
Lee Pike
4. "God I'm an idiot"
Mat Jasper, England
5. BECKS: "Sprachen sie Deutsch?"
COLE: "No, I'm just resting my hand."
Andy Fisher, Coventry
... NAMES WHICH ARE...
... MOST INSTRUCTIVE WHO WHAT WHYS
... WAYS WITH WORDS
... HARDEST QUIZZES
... HEARTFELT R.I.P.s
... PITHY AD BREAKDOWNS
... POIGNANT STORIES
... BEST READERS' COLUMNS
... INVENTIVE LBQ ANSWERS
... YOUR UNITS OF MEASURE
"As self appointed guardian of Monitor Weights and Measures, it has come to my attention that the Routemaster bus will shortly be retired from service. We are therefore left with a void in our collection of measures for both height and length. Any suggestions for replacement objects would be most welcome."
Ray Lashley, Bristol, UK
"The simple matter of converting units of Routemasters into units of elephants (metaphorically of course) has been further complicated by meddling academics in Cardiff. The new subspecies of Bornean elephant now requires a conversion factor of x1.5 to be applied to align it with Indian elephants and x2.1 to align it with African elephants. For information, two and a half African elephants equate to approximately one Routemaster."
Chris, London
"Is there an indeterminate unit of time between a 'jiffy' and a 'while'? I'll put forward an answer in just a mo."
Alan Cotter, Bracknell
"In search of new measures, can I suggest the Hairdresser's Inch? This equates to two-and-a-quarter normal inches."
S Atkinson
"Perhaps we could now measure length in terms of Tory leadership contests. However, this unit would only be suitable for seemingly interminable objects whose ends are known well before they are finally reached."
Gus, London, UK
FINALLY, FIVE THINGS WE JUST LIKE
*charivari, n. first used in the Magazine Monitor 31 October, 2005, to denote a noisy serenade.
Add your comments on this story, using the form below, or come to the Magazine's live lunchtime letters party by clicking here.
Happy Birthday! The trip down memory lane was only spoilt by a badly sited cycle-path.
Kieran Boyle, Oxford, England
(BBC)
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